Dating at Work -- an Ideal Match?

Author: Jane Saeman

Each day you go to work and see the same people. Depending on your job, and the geographic location of your family, these could be the only people you see regularly, but it doesn't mean that you get on with them all. Office politics and gossip around the water cooler are often not a good foundation for lasting friendships but it's not unheard of.

The question about whether or not to date a co-worker however is one of those that people often have a strong opinion about. There are some workplaces which have rules prohibiting this kind of relationship because of how it affects the work performance of both the couple and the others who work with them. For this reason, it's not surprising that many workplace relationships are frequently kept secret to anyone except those who need to know!

Employers are usually against workplace dating because if the relationship between two co-workers moves to a personal level, they may be quite happy in their work, but the other workers around them may feel that they are excluded or feel awkward when they are around the couple. This may be a perceived idea rather than the reality, but it still adversely affects the performance of the co-worker who won't be working at full capacity if they feel they are being left out.

If the workplace relationship ends on a bad note, then at least one of the couple will be working sub-standard as they come to terms with the feeling of being dumped. There will be a tainted atmosphere as those who know the situation -- as well as those who don't -- subconsciously take sides and until things settle, it won't be a pleasant environment to work in.

There are some people who are serial work daters. These people have a reputation for trying to date any member of staff who takes their eye, and are usually the subject of much gossip around the workplace. They aren't looking for a serious relationship but are just interested in having a good time from a steady supply of fresh faces!

If you are considering dating someone at work, first of all consider your employer's policy -- if there is one. Then think about what will happen if you and the person you're dating subsequently split up -- is it possible that you could find yourself in a position where you will be passed over for promotion because the person you're dating is in a position to decide on this?

If things work out, will you both be allowed to remain at the same workplace -- your employer may also have a policy on this. Deciding to date someone is supposed to be something you do without much more thought than is this person someone I think will be good for me, but unfortunately when it comes to workplace romance, you need to think a little more about the implications both legal (as in your contractual agreement with your employer), and social (with other co-workers). That doesn't mean however that you shouldn't do it -- just that you need to think carefully about it first!

 

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