The Terrible Danger of Being Nice When Approaching Women

Author: Kurt Dight

Nice guys finish last at attracting girls. Why? Because deep down all women want to feel safe. They face one threat men don't have to worry about – rape.

If you're too nice of a guy, you're sending a signal to her – you're not qualified to protect her.

So why do guys act like wimps around women? For some men, it's natural. They are hardwired to be nice guys. Since birth it's become a response for them: See hot girl, act like wimp.

Others however, have learned the skill of “wimpy nice guy”. The golden rule says treat others how you would like to be treated. Mom and dad taught you that being nice makes people like you. And it does. As friends... not as a lover.

Making a woman like you is hardly a factor at making her feel attracted to you. I know it doesn't make sense. But attraction isn't based on logic. It follows its own rules.

Here's the dilemma – how do you overcome “wimpy nice guy” when it's an automatic response you've been born with or were taught overtime?

I know for me... it was hard to let go of being “wimpy nice guy”. He had been a part of me for so long I just wouldn't know what to do without him. Also, I didn't like admitting mistakes. It is a cold slap in the face to wake up one day realizing that when it comes to attracting women, I had been doing it all wrong.

But I decided I'd rather be rich than right. So I set up a little experiment that went like this. I'd go out for two hours fours nights a week. Each night I went out, I would approach at least 5 women. The first week I would continue to be a “wimpy nice guy”. The second week I'd be more cocky and arrogant. I'd try to push women and find their boundaries, and see what I could get a way with.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out the first week didn't go well. In fact, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. The second week however, produced some interesting results.

At first, it didn't go well at all. Women thought I was a jerk... but weren't attracted to me. Part of it was because my words were saying one thing but my body language was saying something else.

The more I tried it though, the more natural it became. My body language became congruent with my words. I also started to find exactly what buttons I could push that would make women say, “you're a jerk” and be serious... And which buttons would make them say, "you're a jerk” and then giggle and smile.

Then it hit me. I figured out what charm really was. Teasing a woman in a way that makes her laugh. This was the perfect position to be in... not a jerk, not a wimp... but a charmer.

A word of caution: I think it is okay to be nice to a woman. But you must do it on your terms. Not hers. Being nice only on her terms is a “wimp nice guy” tactic. Getting her something sweet just because you felt like it is a smart thing to do.

I urge you to test everything I tell you. Do as I did. Try it one week how you think it should be. Try it the next week with the advice I give you. Find out what works for you and what you're comfortable with.

Do it right and you can be charming to a woman and be nice to her... and still not be thought of as a wimp!

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