So you’ve done the work, and you’ve gotten a girl’s phone number. You dial, and there’s no answer, so you leave a message.
Now, you’ve got a problem.
You’ve essentially put the ball in her court, and if you call her back too soon, you’re going to look desperate. Wait too long to call her back, and you run the risk of having her lose interest.
This begs the question – how long should you wait for a girl to call you back?
If you watch a movie like “Swingers,” all about young guys in the club scene, the common knowledge there is to wait 3 days to call back.
The logic here is that 3 days seems like enough time so that you don’t come off as some type of desperate freak. But when it comes to getting a return phone call, you should be thinking about ANYTHING but yourself!
Understand – it’s up to the girl whether or not she will call you back. So if you understand where she’s coming from, you’ll have a better idea of when to try again.
For instance, did you get a sense that the girl genuinely liked you when she gave you her number? This is important, because often women will give out their numbers just to get rid of a guy.
Knowing the girl was into you is a big factor, because you have more leeway with someone who likes you than you do with someone who’s neutral or on the fence.
Also keep in mind that girls can get busy, and may not have time to call you. Then, when they get time, they may be too tired or don’t feel like talking.
Remember – talking to someone on the phone is a time commitment, and it also takes mental energy that can sometimes be hard to expend. Calling a girl on a weekday, when most people have jobs and responsibilities to attend to, can affect callback time.
Here are some tips when it comes to playing the phone game…
Have something ready to talk about, if you have to leave a message. Just saying “hi” and telling her to call you back won’t cut it. Give a reason to call you back. Recall a prior conversation or point of interest. Tell her you just heard a funny joke you’d like to share with her. It doesn’t matter, as long as she knows there’s something to look forward to when she calls.
Give her a day to call you back. Don’t wait three days, but don’t call her back an hour later either. If she doesn’t get back to you in a day’s time, she might have just gotten busy or sidetracked. Call again the next day.
Use text message reminders before the next callback. Unlike leaving voice messages, texting a girl often doesn’t come off as desperate. In fact, they can serve as good reminders, and more women will text you back rather than call you back. After your message, text her around three hours later. You can say something like:
“Hey – haven’t heard back from you yet. You must be super-busy! Or are you leading some strange double life I don’t know about? lol.”
Texting little things like this just keep you on her radar.
Also – don’t overdo the calling. I’ll usually attempt to call a girl three times. If I don’t hear back from her, and she’s not responding to my text messages, I’ll just move on. Best not to waste your time and energy trying to contact a girl who’s too busy for you or not interested, because there are plenty of women out there who will be.
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